Family Ghosts and the Gifts They Give You

Last week, I mentioned I'd talk about ghosts, family ones. Family ghosts are different from the ones you see in the movies and on television. The difference is that they're real unlike the ones chased by the frauds on "Ghost Hunters" or other similar programs. I know because of personal experience. I lived with a ghost for over 50 years and didn't even know it. That ghost was my eldest brother, Jim. He was killed in WWII in Europe. I was about one year old at the time. Now, he did come back to haunt me, but not in any "conventional" sense (no apparitions, etc.). What happened, of course, was that my mother fell into a deep depression at the loss of her first-born and vowed to keep his memory alive, an entirely understandable desire. And that's when the ghost entered my life. My mother invoked Jim's name at every opportunity for the rest of her life. She was never proud of me, but Jim was. Jim would be so proud of what you've done. If only Jim were here...I didn't realize at the time that I was competing not only with a ghost, but a saintly one at that. I felt this vague and uneasy certainty that I was not measuring up and never would. That's the bad news about having a real ghost in your family. The good news is that it drove me inward to the place where a writer lives, his heart and his mind and his gut. And my brother's spirit drove me to achieve. So real ghosts, family ghosts, make your life miserable until their presence is uncovered and then they make you realize that you've gained strength and character because of their constant interference with your life. Writers are like other artists (poets, painters, etc.); they wouldn't have any material if it weren't for the suffering in their lives. So, here's to my brother, Jim, for his ultimate sacrifce for the nation and for the immense and inadvertent pain that was his personal gift to me - the gift that creates fiction. I wouldn't want to go through it again, but it was the best kind of haunting....Next week, away from the personal and back to writing. I'll talk about my three main influences and the specific gift each writer gave me - and the world!